4th wedding

I love spending time with my kiddos one at a time.  Doing something special with them individually is so much fun!  Daryk, Elizabeth, and I took a trip to Chattanooga this July and went to a dear friend's wedding.  It was on the campus of Lee College and it was gorgeous!  Libby clearly enjoyed herself.  We put curlers in her hair and spent all sorts of girls time prepping for the day.  We drove up to the wedding and then got dressed in the parking lot just before we went inside.  Didn't want to mess up our dresses!  

This girl enjoyed every minute of our time.

Such a ham.  

Every event from now on should have a photo booth.

All of them.

So much fun!  

Oh my heart.

Here's hoping she always thinks that we are the coolest people she knows.

Buddy

I don't even know that I'll ever be able to verbalize or write how this whole relationship functions.  They are almost one in the same.  Same love.  Same laugh.  Same silly attitude.  They love each other SOOOOOOOOOOOO big.  It is precious and overwhelming and so much fun.  Buddy was the first person in our family who got to see Miss SpenBrynne via photo right after she was born and I do believe it was the beginning of a beautiful love song.  They are hilarious together.  In person, via FaceTime, on the phone, via Snapchat... You name it and the silly spans miles.  If ever she needed anything, I have no doubt that her Boppy would be first in line to donate an organ, or dollars, or anything else she required.

Heck, he might just give up his right arm if she asked for it!

I love that they have so much fun together!

Seriously?

When was the last time you saw someone smile that big?

Please ignore SB's giant forehead bruise.  She had been stair diving.

Its fine.

Frozen Finale

I'm pretty sure we had our last gymnastics session with Hayes this spring.  He's too big and too old and too busy to be bothered with them now.  I'm not sure what we will do with him from here forward...

He tried soccer.

Loved it!

He is currently participating with wrestling and he loves it!

I'm curious to see what happens next!

First, you apologize.

On Saturday we had a rainy day at home.  We gathered ourselves up, went to run some errands, and spent time with Kitty.  We came home, had lunch, and cleaned the playroom.  Well, some of us cleaned the playroom.  Some of us argued with each other about it.  Somebody talked back to me and I lost it.  All the cool mom composure I had, it was gone.  Adios.  Bye.  BYE.

I yelled with enough frustration to scare someone.... myself and my son.  I absolutely had a come apart.  It was shameful.  I literally chased him to his bedroom and shut the door so I could gather my thoughts.   I gathered them quietly in my own room.  Prayers with tears and sad realizations that I need the Lord to guide me in all aspects.  All.  Aspects.  Parenting isn't excluded.  I am not an expert.

I went back to Hayes and asked him to sit with me on his bed and I apologized.  

"I didn't mean to yell at you like that and I'm very sorry.  I should have talked better to you and not yelled.  I just got really angry because you didn't do what I asked you to do and you talked back to me.  But I am sorry I yelled at you."

I am so thankful for the spirit of forgiveness.  I am thankful that my children embody the spirit of forgiveness and model that for me.  My mother displays the 'world's most forgiving' spirit possible.  I inherited that from her.  Hoping to pass that along to my sweet people as well.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  It is not for the weak or weary.  It is not easy and it is not always sunshine and rainbows.  I love that job even if I fail miserably.

The truth.

Ok.
So this one is bound to ruffle some feathers.
I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but this has GOT to come out.
This corner of the www is mine and you don't have to come back to read again if you don't want to.
I won't get my feelings hurt, promise.

About a month ago-ish I buried my grandmother.  And I loved that woman, with all my heart.  I loved all the things she did with her life.  She was a champion fighter and she fought a long hard battle.  She stayed a lot longer than I ever imagined she would and I feel like she got a whole life's worth.  She was a strong lady and I admire her wit.  She spent hours, days, weeks, and sometimes months in a hospital bed due to her illnesses.  They were plenty and enough to knock all of us down sometimes, but she fought with grace and a little bit of sass until the end.

The funeral service was lovely.  The memorial at the funeral home was lovely.  I felt as though the funeral was a lie.  The pastor rambled along about how she was a woman of God and how she showed His love and lived for Jesus.  Well folks, if she did that, I never saw it.  I never once saw His love or life in her.  I never heard her speak His name.  If we questioned her relationship with Jesus and her thoughts on heaven... it was a quick response of 'I'm a good person and I've never killed anyone, so I'm going to heaven.'

Quite frankly, that's not how it works.  Now, I cannot speak of her salvation because I was never courageous enough to ask her about it.  But I should have been.  I did not and I'm ashamed of that.

But I'll tell you something I learned while sitting in that pew in that little white church in the middle of nowhere Alabama....

I learned that when a pastor gets up at my funeral I want him to ramble about all of those things I mentioned above and I don't want ANYONE in that audience to have a doubt about what he's saying.  I want to shine so bright for the Lord that there is no question about how I feel about Him and how I display His love.  I am trembling while typing this at my computer y'all.  This is hard stuff.  To sit at your grandmother's funeral and have your heart ripped apart because God is using that woman to teach you from beyond, it is powerful.  Maybe she did know Him.  Maybe she did believe in Him and trust Him with her life, but y'all.  I never saw it.  Not in my childhood, not in my adolescence, and not as an adult.

I love that woman so much.  Her humor was perfect.  She cussed like a sailor and she was a joy to be around.  She embodied family and the glue that held it together.  Her legacy is a million miles long and I am so grateful that she was here and able to meet all my babies.  How fantastic is that?  She had 12 great grands... I think.  Forgive my math... It isn't the best.

The bottom line is that I do not want there to be a single doubt, not a tiny bit of hesitation about my life.  My words, my deeds, my songs, my work, my actions, my choices, my habits, my books, my family; my whole entire life.  I want it all to bring glory to Jesus.  And when I die and people are at my funeral (sans body--no casket for this girl) I want the truth to be so evident that nobody even needs to talk about it.  It just is.

The girl

This one.

The middle child.

She has the best manners ever.

EVER.

Her vocabulary is quite extensive.

Her ability to pick up choice phrases and repeat them is almost scary.

She listens TOO well when she wants to....

and not well enough when she should.

Spending time with her is a bit like breathing....

Necessary.

My boy

Sunday this week Hayes turned 6.

S-I-X

Six years ago we were on our way to Northside via 285 in all the bumpy lanes.

Six years ago I planned to have an unmedicated delivery.

Six years ago I learned that I wasn't always in charge.

Imagine that?

I was in labor for 3 days before I made it to the hospital.

I was in labor for about 12 hours after my water broke before the c-section began.

I wasn't planning on a c-section, but my kid was ready.

He arrived at 6:23 pm and rocked our world.

It was the longest day ever and I was so grateful to finally have him.

It's a rental

Leigh Leigh comes to visit a lot since she moved to NC.

We love having her visit.

It is a lot of fun, she brings cool rental cars, and she makes us laugh.

Occasionally, we have car parties in the driveway!

Pool Date

I am determined to catch up on life/blog this month.

Here's a cousin swim date this summer.

Love them!  

Hayes and Elizabeth both took ACTUAL swim lessons this summer and they both learned how to swim really well.  I was thrilled to see them progress and learn how to handle themselves in water.

She's 4.

I won this cake contest via Facebook in June.

I was SO pumped that I could get my girl an awesome cake.

It looked fantastic.

Tasted ok.

But wasn't functional at all for her party.

Never again...

I don't think she cared ONE bit.

She turned 4 in August.

She is my favorite 4 year old girl ever.

I love her independence, her stubborn streak, and her caring heart.

She has the best manners in the whole world.

She is literally, the MOST caring child I've ever met.

She never stops talking and she avoids bedtime like it is toxic.

Her favorite things include lipstick, lipgloss, fingernail polish, sparkly things, her skechers, pink stuff, purple stuff, pretty stuff, stickers, markers, and ketchup.

2016--incoming.....

I typically start each year with a list of goals in mind.  I'm good at writing the goals.  I am terrible at actually achieving the goals.  I blame my mother.  She's a great project starter.  She's not a great finisher.  I'm working to teach my kids to start AND finish things.  I'm convinced it will take me until I DIE to do so... BUT I'm wildly determined to make that happen, so I am going to do it.

1. Grow produce this summer.  Start a plan in March and proceed forward with tomatoes and peppers for the summer.  I think I can handle two things.
   
2. Clean out and organize one room each month.  It will break my little hoarder/sentimental heart to trash some of the things, but it needs to happen.  Starting in the girls' room tomorrow morning.  Closet and drawers need attention.  Hayes' room is in February.  Bathrooms upstairs in March... that's my first quarter done...
   
3. Paint the rooms... living room, office, dining room... and patch the ceiling kitchen.  While you're at it, let's just go ahead and fix the wires in the living room too., okay?  And purchase new furniture for the living room.  I decided all house updates had to go in the same goal, so I'll have to also repair the master bath wall/ceiling as well.
   
4. Exercise for 30 minutes at least 3 times a week.  Dance parties in the living room count as cardio.  Running counts.  Weighted toddler carry time does not count.
   
5. Become a Mary Kay sales director.  I desperately want to work a job with some flexibility for my family.  I also really like Mary Kay and the company.  Products are good, company philosophy is good, and the atmosphere is positive.
   
6. Plan a trip to Disney for 2016.  Purchase a $100 Disney gift card each month to start piling money away for it.  Kroger fuel points AND a Disney trip.  Two birds;  one stone.
   
7. Complete a Bible reading plan.  I'm looking at a few, but I'm open to ideas and suggestions people!
   
8. Schedule a fun date with Daryk each month.  I'd really like to call it my Groupon event... I would love to buy a Groupon/Living Social/Scout Mob date and go do something different each month!  January and February are so difficult because of wrestling, but we can figure something out!
   
9. Plan and HOLD 5 Mary Kay Skincare and Glamour classes each month.  Who wants to come over and play makeup with me!?
   
10. Develop a family routine/plan and follow through with it.  Weekly plans in progress now...
    

My reason for goals, for my job, for my Mary Kay business, and for breathing.
I love those littles.

And my husband, but he's not pictured.