Thursday, October 20, 2011

Parenting Lessons from Hayes

Sometimes when I stop and think about my job I begin to panic. I remember how scared I am every day to complete the tasks that lie ahead of me and I start to get overwhelmed. I'm not talking about my job job.... as in the one I get paid for. I'm talking about my job as a parent. The job that God blessed me with, the one that matters far more than the job job I have. I am so grateful for the two little people I am blessed with. I cannot wait to see them every morning, though I wish it was about 7:30 or 8 a.m. instead of the 6:30 wake up time Hayes seems to always have. If only he would sleep until the sun actually came up... ha. I am always anxious to see what joy he brings me each day. I am excited to see what adventures he will create with his choo choo trains or what masterpieces he will create as he's 'dawing', yes dawing with his markers. I am always amazed to see how much he can learn in a day. I will never forget the 10 minute car ride I mentioned the moon and the sky and how God made the moon in the sky. It has been a month or so since we had that conversation and he still talks about the 'moo-sky' as he's waving his chubby hands in the air pointing up high to the sky. I also notice that things we do become habits in his life. For instance, saying the blessing before dinner is a required activity now. Occasionally when I'm starving or in a hurry to eat I hear that little voice coming from the high chair urgently saying, 'min-min', which translates into 'amen' just in case you were curious. We must hold hands and thank our God for the food before we are allowed to continue the meal. I am so proud that a small gesture on our part has become something he noticed and feels obligated to include. I never imagined that the things I do daily would be something he picks up on and wants to do as well. He makes me so proud. He makes me feel like each day is a blessing. As parents we live with endless fear. We are afraid that something awful might happen to them. We fear the unknown, the mysteries life will bring us each day. We fear them getting hurt, whether it be a scrape or a life threatening injury. We fear them outgrowing US and being too grown to want or need us. We anxiously await the growing milestones of the first child and I find myself begging my baby girl to slow down! It happens so fast! I find myself in tears every night I creep into his room and look at Hayes all stretched out on his bed. He is so big. When did he grow up!? When did he stop being my baby and become my buddy? I cringe sometimes when I'm putting his clothes away, they are so much bigger than I think they should be. Often I will look at something and think, 'this is too big to fit him'... and then it is almost too snug! I am amazed and honored to be raising a child of God. I cannot wait to teach him more about our great God and the miracles He provides to us. The lessons Hayes teaches me about our Heavenly Father will never, ever come close to the ones I want to teach him about. Thank you God for providing your son to us. Thank you for the blessings that He. Thank you for sending Him to save us. I cannot imagine letting go of my baby boy the way you did. As I sit and hold his chubby hands while we bless the food I made for dinner I am choked up with emotions that I cannot even explain. I guess my parents were right. I never understood that my heart could feel such love. I never imagined that I would turn into my parents, until I became a parent myself. I pray now for his safety and for his protection. I pray for Hayes every minute of every day. I pray that when I'm not with him he's having fun. I pray that nothing changes while I'm away from him. I give thanks and praises to God for that sweet little boy that I was blessed with.

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