Wednesday, January 13, 2016

First, you apologize.

On Saturday we had a rainy day at home.  We gathered ourselves up, went to run some errands, and spent time with Kitty.  We came home, had lunch, and cleaned the playroom.  Well, some of us cleaned the playroom.  Some of us argued with each other about it.  Somebody talked back to me and I lost it.  All the cool mom composure I had, it was gone.  Adios.  Bye.  BYE.

I yelled with enough frustration to scare someone.... myself and my son.  I absolutely had a come apart.  It was shameful.  I literally chased him to his bedroom and shut the door so I could gather my thoughts.   I gathered them quietly in my own room.  Prayers with tears and sad realizations that I need the Lord to guide me in all aspects.  All.  Aspects.  Parenting isn't excluded.  I am not an expert.

I went back to Hayes and asked him to sit with me on his bed and I apologized.  
"I didn't mean to yell at you like that and I'm very sorry.  I should have talked better to you and not yelled.  I just got really angry because you didn't do what I asked you to do and you talked back to me.  But I am sorry I yelled at you."

I am so thankful for the spirit of forgiveness.  I am thankful that my children embody the spirit of forgiveness and model that for me.  My mother displays the 'world's most forgiving' spirit possible.  I inherited that from her.  Hoping to pass that along to my sweet people as well.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  It is not for the weak or weary.  It is not easy and it is not always sunshine and rainbows.  I love that job even if I fail miserably.

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