Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My struggles as a Momma

Our childcare this school year has been nuts.
My parents have been amazing helpers for us since Hayes was born.
Mawmaw and Pawpaw kept Hayes at their house every day until he started at the ELC.
Then Hayes went to BeBe & PaPa'se house once he started the ELC.
He basically spent the first 3 years of his life with his grandparents and some little friends.
Elizabeth started at the ELC this year as well.
She has stayed with all the same grandparents since I had to go back to work.

I loved that arrangement.
But Dad and Sheila (Maw & Paw) moved to the lake, an hour away, to prepare for retirement.
Mom and Jack (Be & Pa) got jobs.
The nerve.
Just kidding.

But seriously, that was the deal of a lifetime and I know it.
I miss it like something fierce.
We are blessed this year with my mother in law, Anette, and her ability to help us with the babies.
Tira, Daryk's cousin, also helps with the babies.
And a former student, who is also a neighbor, Jennifer, helps too.
Huge blessing, I recognize that. 
And my kids love the arrangement as well. 
I don't worry about them at all while they are there.
They get fed well, they take naps, they play.
I know all this.
But occasionally Anette gets sick.
Or Tira is out of town.
And then we have no one.
So I get stressed out about that.
Like, beyond normal people concerned stressed out.
It makes me a little on edge.

I've been in a panic trying to plan next semester.
Anette has been sick and unable to drive much here lately.
She also went out of town for a bit.
So that means a little more work for me and some additionaly planning on my part.
Please don't misunderstand, I'm grateful.
But not having consistency and a routine I can count on makes me kinda crazy.
I debated pulling them from the ELC and sending them to a daycare, for my own sanity.
I just can't handle the chaos anymore.

I think we have a good deal worked out now and I'm very grateful for that.
God knew I needed some gentle reminders that I was making good choices as a parent.
He put a huge post it note on my morning drive today.
I know it was Him--I could feel it in my heart.
If you've never felt that, you're missing out and I'd love to share it with you.

We were listening to Christmas music and there was a song about Santa.
Away in a Manger began to play next.
Hayes: "Momma, what's this song?"
Me:  "Away in a Manger.  It's about baby Jesus and his birthday."
Hayes:  "Baby Jesus was born at Christmas, right?"
At this point I'm teary eyed and blinking very hard.
Me:  "Yes he was.  That is why we celebrate Christmas."
Hayes:  "Christmas is coming!"
Me:  "Yes it is.  We're almost to school.  You ready to get out of the car?"
Hayes:  "No Momma!  I want to listen to some more songs about Jesus."

Thank you God for showing up today and reminding me that my kids are where they are supposed to be.
I needed that post it note more than every this morning.
The struggles I have are just that, my own and not necessary because God is taking care of it all.

1 comment:

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